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Funny Story " Rope A Deer

                              

    Actual letter from someone who farms,

                                         He writes well and has tried this:

 I had this idea that I could rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up  on corn for a couple of weeks, then eat it. The first step in this  adventure was getting a deer. they are easy as finding rabbits, I  figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem  to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes  come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of  the truck not 4 feet away), Hey sweet as a lop, it should not be  difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to  calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

 

 I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The  cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were  not having any of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up-- 3 of  them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the  feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me. I  wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so

I would have a good hold.

 

 The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was  mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards  it, it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope .., and then  received an education. The first thing that I learned is that, while a  deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they  are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.

That deer EXPLODED.  The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT  stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I  could fight down with a rope and with some dignity. A deer-- no chance.

 

That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled.  There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it  jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it  occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an  idea as I had originally imagined. The only upside is that they do not  have as much stamina as many other animals.

 

 A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk  me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few  minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing  out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for  corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature

off the end of that rope.

I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess

that the feeling was mutual.

>  Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had  cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various  large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think  clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared  some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in. I  didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get  it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I  had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in  there and I started moving up so

I could get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite?

They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody,  so I was very surprised when ... I reached up there to grab that rope  and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is  not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go.  A deer bites you and shakes its head--almost like a pit bull.. They  bite HARD and it hurts.

 The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and  draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was  ineffective.

>  It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but  it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now),  tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right  arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.

 

That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

 

Deer will strike at you with their front feet.  They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and  shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a  long time ago that, when an animal --like a horse --strikes at you with  their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try  to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal.  This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.

 This was not a horse.. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery  would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different  strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run. The  reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse  that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in  the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after  all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the  second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and  knocked me down.

 

 Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not  immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has  passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on  you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering  your head.

I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away. So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a bow or rifle with a scope

to sort of even the odds...

 

All these events are true so help me God... An Educated, Bruised and Bleeding Rancher...... who now is going to raise Rabbits.